Soaps

And now for something not quite so Christmassy and festive... Soaps. Actually, when I say 'soaps', I really just mean one 'soap', Emmerdale (wow, now I've written it too much and the word soap has totally lost all meaning..). I used to watch them all, Corrie, Eastenders, Neighbours etc., but I had to give up my soap addiction when I went to uni in favour of actually having a life. I'm back into Emmerdale again at the fault of my mother, who has recently become addicted to it, despite it previously being my least favourite in this genre, but it seems to be quite good entertainment at the moment, so I'm sticking with it for now!

The current shocker is that village 'ard man Cain Dingle has been done in with a blunt object. Of course, as always in soap-land, there were weeks of tensions leading up to this moment, leaving us with a whodunnit worthy of a murder mystery series, or at least a game of Cluedo. So we have the possible attempted murderers all walking around looking shifty; Charity, Jai, Moira, John, Amy and probably half of the rest of the village as well. I can't decide who I think is the culprit, and I'm hoping they won't drag it out as long as they did 'who shot Phil Mitchell' in Eastenders back in the day.

I've decided who I definitely don't think it is, and that's John. Speaking of John though, is it just me or is it looking like he is more and more stoned each day? I don't think the guy who plays him deserves an Oscar any time soon, unless moody, wooden, out of it and slightly constipated was the look he was going for with this character.

But anyway, bashing the acting skills of people in soaps is always easy, so let's move on from that and back to the 'gripping' story line. It would all be so much easier to follow if it wasn't for the fact that most of the characters are at least a little bit interbred. Seriously, what is going on with the Dingles? Somehow, Chas is Cain's sister despite them seemingly not having the same parents; Cain and Charity are cousins but also have a daughter together; Zak and Lisa have a child that is basically the same age as Cain's grandaughter and now Cain has another daughter than is younger than his grandaughter... And then Marlon is thrown in as a cousin as well, along with people like Sam and god knows who else. I'm sure if I had watched Emmerdale loyally for all of my 20 years it would be a bit clearer to me, but as I've been watching for approximately two weeks, it's gone a bit over my head really.

The other mystery worth talking about in the village is why so many people agree to get into bed with Cain. Maybe it's the 'ard man vibe but out of all the unrealistic things that go down in Emmerdale, I find this one the hardest to believe. Mind you, Moira had to put up with John the constipated broom, so I'm not surprised she fled into the arms of someone with a bit more personality and a bit less 'urgggggh'.